went through wei lun's photos and listening to her songs yesterday night before going to sleep.
i was actually thinking all about her things.. they just appear in my mind.. the way she smiles. you all scold me idiot or what ever lah. i just don't know why. i actually kind of see her when i was thinking all those rubbish that happen to me. she is like tilting her head and smiling to me tell me that why am i still thinking all that. aiyah people, say me imagine or what.. but i just feel that she is beside me, ALWAYS.
seriously i feel that i'm selfish. she is already dead and i'm still all thinking about her. don't even want to let her go. i talk to her picture and say,
瑋倫,我是不是很自私?
一直不讓你從我的世界離開..
你走了多久,我就想你多久..
不能讓你安心..
如果你一直在我身邊陪我那不是對媽咪不公平..
媽咪比我還須要你,我只是一個來路不明的某人..
又怎能拉住你不放..
如果你沒死,我是否能像現在一樣會那麼想你?
i know i'm thinking too much.. but what can i do.. everytime i can't get to sleep i will talk to the air.. thinking a lot of impossible things. but if i really let her go, i don't think so i can have the courage to fight on. i will always remember that
the day she died, i swear before that i MUST and i WILL help her to fulfil all the dreams that she never fulfil. but before that i have to study, but if i really study well what can i chose? to help her i got to learn music, but my dreams is another way which is fashion design. both of this need good grades, but what if i both also cannot get in? i'm not really asking for too much. i only know that since i swear that i will help her, i GOT to! that's me.
anyway, you people think that i'm not trustworthy is your mother fucking problem. you people want to talk back about me is also your mother fucking problem. you people don't want to be my friend is also your mother fucking problem. cos i only know that people who say all these is the people who DO NOT KNOW ME. and REALLY YOU ALL DON'T EVEN KNOW ME WELL. so you will be there saying all about me. FUCKING PLEASE LAH, DON'T KNOW ME ANYHOW SAY ME, I DON'T CARE. COS I KNOW THAT'S NOT ME. SAY ME WEIRD, I AM! ONCE YOU STEP INTO MY WORLD, YOU WILL KNOW WHY I AM LIKE THIS. IS BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ASK ME TO STEP INTO A WORLD LIKE 徐宜靜..
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE I'M TALKING ABOUT.
YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU,YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU,
AND YOU!!
