hais.. ella's doggy passed away.. i bet she cried, but now she should be feeling better. although i said before that 人生有生老病死 有生必有死 有聚必有散 想通了只是一個循環 生 沒有甚麼值得開心 死 沒有甚麼值得悲哀的 but you know there is still the feeling there.. say be emoing ba, i also don't know what i'm thinking now. just went to youtube and watch aaron's videos.. saw a part where he at bang bang tang cried.. they i was feeling the pain when he says,
其實真的要珍惜身旁的關心你的人 然後因為社會這麼多人不可能每個人都對你是真心的 那家人永遠是對你最真心的.
不可能每個人都對你是真心的i can't lied myself for believing in what he says at times. although i keep complaining to him in his blog that asking him stop emo-ing in his blog. all his words are lies.. but yet, when things happen to me... i get to believe in what he says. actually this line is true.. they are just using to to get their motive, saying what will be there for you. ended up all are lies, i don't like or i can say i hate people giving me FAKE PROMISES.. i can say that ever since 27th, i never believe in promises.. unless you proof to me that the promises you all make is true.
actually mo ren, i'm sorry i lied to you.. actually i have not recovered from my wounds. it still hurts, are like stranger when standing right infront of each other and i still can't really smile deep inside my heart. it is just an act infront of people that i'm fine, i'm very very fine. i know i need time, but i don't think i will recover till the day o levels start. but i really hope to live on happily for the rest of my life, as i never knows when i will be leaving this world to another world.. i'm sorry for lying..
trying to recover from wounds are difficult.. although i know time will cure it.. but will i still have the time? just like ella's doggy, her time is up long ago but she still can survive for so long. will it be like me? or i should have left the world with wei lun long time ago, is that i tried to survive to pull myself up. just like my previous screen saver says,
sick of crying... tired of trying... yeah i'm smiling... but inside i'm... DYING
