some sort of having complicated feeling just now.
i just don't know that what am i doing from the moment i step into my secondary life? it is seriously a big problem. or why do i have to be in this world, this country, this place and this school, this family? i really don't know. all i know is that i'm always alone or can i say with a imaginary true friend by my side listening to me, advising me. actually i have one now, but it seems that we aren't talking to each other any more. i just want to ask him this question, Do you ever trust me before? or Do you ever believe in what i say? but i just can't say it out from my mouth as i know once i say, the friendship would be gone. after the moment i have not been leaving messages for aaron yan, he is the only one i talk to him about what i feel in life. i treasure him as a great friend, he would never fail to lend me his ears. but it seems that now, his ears are gone. i ask my imaginary true friend today, should i ask him the questions? i get back the answer which is, no. she told me i should not, if i ask him the question, it shows that i did not trust/believe in him, and so why must he trust/believe in me. she told me something which knock my senses out. ' 如果你認為他不能相信,那為何你要跟他說那麼多事?' this true friend of mine really understands me, although she is not real, but i can sense her. i even told her before how much i hate to be in this place, how much i want to try to be good to my classmates. but all she tells me is that, strive through this thing which fate let me to be in, and win the battle to let fate see that i'm strong. with this sentence, i will be strong. i will let the whole world know that i'm strong, forever.
to him( you know who you are):
i don't know what to say to you, but i can say from my heart, you are a great friend to me. you are just like my big brother, always being there for me. although some times i'm childish, but i know you want to express that i'm lame. but you just don't want me to get dissapointed. anyway, thanks for being by my side, you will always be my brother.
