hmm. just came back to this blogger web after going fahrenhiet main web page.
i went there to take a look as i had been don't know how many days that i never went to take
a look at it. hais. went there, view the post of ya lun's blog message. he feel so upset, and he had been putting the blame on him for his injury. he said that he hate himself being injure making his mother worried and putting his band mates to do every thing while he can't do anything. ans he even said that being injured at 20 is stupid. and he has also lost his zi xin le. no matter how much his fans say that this is not his fault, nobody wants it. hais. after viewing one post and another. with the 'chim' words of his. and it is like reading a poem. his feelings, his thoughts. makes people worry. perhaps is what they say. as we are young so we will had emotions. all kinds, immature, mature and blah blah.
saying till emotions. i am freaking pissed off by mr ho. he just kinda of like to zhen dui me, apple and passion. we just giggle and laugh and he come and scold. he think his shouting works? as he says, my voice is loud what can he do? cos it's tian shen de. and then. why other people can talk and laugh loudly while not us. why don't he scold them. and i was actually starting to understand him and trying to give him in. as he is so call a elder. but today, his attitude changed my mind. the past me i would scream and shout at him. but i had learn to tolerate with people. just like what i am doing to my friends. i don't care they say i ugly, act cute or flat chest. well i know myself best. what kind of people am i. say what they one to say. is all their mouth. retribution will fall on them one day. and i know i had my retribution le. therefore i know that He has eyes, he will punish them. so i need not. just had to wait for that day. i'm sorry if i had offend my classmates or school mates. this is what i had to say. as i find that i had to say this. i don't have to say out the names in details. cos i respect you.
ok. let's not talk about that. let's talk about today having poa test. i was doing well at first and suddenly i was stuck halfway. and i did not continue and i give up. and suddenly i went to sleep.
i dreamt of me finally presue my dreams. i finally became a fashion designer. everybody was clapping for me, and my pieces were perfect in every one's eyes, i was touch and tears roll down. and i knew that those tough days i had in order to sucess, wasn't nothing at all. cos i suceed. when i wake up, i try to continue. but i still can't, times up and i write down at the second page of the paper. "Sorry, I didn't do finish. Sorry." after that, i keep thinking of the dream i had and whether should i give up on it? the feeling is kind of what kenglin had before. maybe he feeling is the same as me now. hais. what should i really do. due to my studies now, can i still persue my dreams. how?
*but if kenglin, you had a chance to view this. i would like to say that. don't put the blame on yourself. the truth is the truth. hating our self is torturing our family besides our self. kenglin you recover soon de. i would like to see the zi xin you have in the first place.
